Through a mutual friend, I ran across this little gem right here: http://ninjadeathstarboomerangbomb.tumblr.com/post/843368465/how-i-got-to-vegas-etc

Normally, I’d leave well enough alone, but I dislike being called a prostitute over the internet, so I thought I’d clear the air.

First off, I…

does this girl not realize that in her attempt to show that shes not a hooker she instead makes herself look like a selfish disgusting cheating slut?

i mean both parties are fucked in the head and it seriously makes me wonder why i cant get a guy to commit yet these lunatics are having long term relationships and pleading with each other to stay. but still this girl is an idiot.  i personally would rather be a whore than a slut. at least a whore gets money…

I cheated my way through grade school. I got straight A’s and was in the gifted program. It wasn’t because I was “smart,” and I had a terrible memory. I don’t feel at all like I have jipped myself because as an adult I know that my cheating skills will get me way further in life than knowing chemistry formulas by heart. It is after all, the best liars who become the most successful.

me: i need to go out and meet people

friend: Okay where do you wanna go

me: anywhere with cute guys… whole foods i guess

lunchbreak:

Truth.

mikesbrainleakage:

I kept seeing these broad overviews of America using the U.S. map as a visual and I always disagreed here and there. This is more of a personal view of the country but I feel like it’s more universally true than all the other ones I see of shit like this.

Yes, I made this. Yes, I had better things to do. Nope, I didn’t do those other things.

I think whoever made this has never left California.

Kindergarten cop for Oregon???

Sports and Beer for Illinois???

(Source: miketruesdale, via christinahaberkern)

Steven- Seattle is quite expensive for an American city

Me- Steven thinks America is one big Walmart

shady CL ad: I’ll pay whatever rate they do it for plus there tips. I need five girls, but they need to be down for everything and Im pretty sure you know what I mean. Just let me know it’s till august 13.

me: no i dont know what you mean. please elaborate?
i have aids, herpes, hpv, clamydia, syphillus, and ghonnoreah. hope thats okay :-). its less than most girls who would be willing to fuck you have.

shady CL ad: Oh ok well just let me know if your interested it’s on august 13

(via christinahaberkern, davidfuternick)

This sucks because I was ugly when I was young and now I’m boring.

indieprince:

yeiysun:

indie on scholarships.

Ahaha I would personally like to thank Lucas and Spielberg for their generous donations

• friend: how's your doctor in canada?
• me: haha when you said doctor i automatically thought gynecologist
• me: i was gonna be like um i didn't see a gyno in canada

me- do you like my undies?   

him- yeah very romantic. your heart looks like an ass